Toes are stickin' out,
Toenails growin' in,
Sweaty, damp 'n' gungy,
Crackin', full of fungi,
Corns on your bunions,
Smell of mouldy onions,
Got the ingrown toenail, ingrown toenail blues.

Barefoot by the creek,
Toes are lumps of feet,
Toes are lumps of meat,
Raw 'n' juicy sweet,
Yabby's got your ingrow-own
Toenails to the bo-one,
Got the ingrown toenail, ingrown toenail blues.
Yeah, got the ingrown toenail, ingrown toenail blues.

red backs creep,
white tails crawl
cockroach highway round the wall, oh
home sweet ho-ome,
all my o-own,
it's the grandest place to be
for lice and fleas -
good enough for me

rain drips in,
termites crunch
longtoothed rats drop by for lunch, oh
home sweet ho-ome,
stands alo-one,
it's the greatest place to be
bedbugs agree -
good enough for me