God Needs a Bigger Sound System

Once upon a time, God said, 'Let there be light'. And there was.

He spoke, and it was done. Without a mike or a mixer or anything.

Once upon a time, there was a strong wind. It wasn't God talking.

Then there was an earthquake. But that wasn't God talking either.

Then there was a still, small voice. And Elijah covered his face with his cloak, and went out of the cave, 'cos that was God talking.

But that was once upon a time.

Last Thursday, the man of God said: 'God, You need a bigger sound system'.

'Er...' said God, in a still small voice.

'Then You won't have to wait until everyone is quiet and still and waiting patiently before You. You can talk to us any time. Then we can drink our lattés and talk with our friends and send text msgs and still hear You.'

'Er...' murmured God.

'No sweat,' the man of God said. 'Leave it to me. Angels and heavenly powers are fine on the spiritual stuff, but when it comes to technology, that's a job for us humans.'

'But...' whispered God.

The man of God assured him, 'You own the cattle on a thousand hills: a decent sound system won't break the bank. Just trust me.'

'But...' whispered God in His stillest smallest voice.

So God's man bought a big black sound system, with plenty of leads and knobs and microphones ('cos apparently God needed more than one mike) and speakers that looked like aliens.

'Excuse me...' murmured God.

But the man of God was busy testing.

Some other men and women of God got to try out God's new mikes, before God did. Well, that was OK 'cos God's Spirit was in them and sometimes He'd want to speak through them, wouldn't He?

'Testing testing'

'1 2 1 2'

'Can you hear me?'
'I can't hear me.'

'John 1: 1 John 1: 2'

'I can't hear me.'

'John 1: 10 John 1: 11'

'I can't hear me!'

'Can you hear me?' whispered God.

The men and women of God liked talking into the mikes. And hearing themselves. And being louder than anyone else. And telling everyone else how to worship God. They were sure that God would like using the new sound system, too.

The man of God got behind God's sound system again and listened for his Master's voice.


He turned the volume up. On all the mikes.


He twiddled with a few knobs. And a few more.

Nothing. For a whole 20 seconds.

The man of God thought, 'This will not do. We have a service at 10am. And God has not turned up yet. Perhaps He is shy of talking into a microphone. We will help Him. We will turn God up.'

And they did. The sound system was turned up as loud as it could go, without the police turning up as well.

Some men and women of God went out the front to the mikes, where they had been so happy. They talked and shouted and screamed and sang and ordered the other people of God about until they all sounded exactly the same. They played music. They played loud music. Loud as thunder.

'Excuse Me,' said God in His still small voice.

But no one could hear Him over all the joyful noise they were making, singing glory to Him and enthroning Him on their praises and trying out riffs and runs and that new cymbal with the funny tone.

After they had finished, they went home saying, ' Wasn't church good this morning?'

And they all lived happily ever after.

Except God. He sat in the empty room with His new sound system and His new cymbal.

And He cried... very, very softly.